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Oneliners from the pen of the WebShowcase Puzzlemaster and our site Visitors - Page 4

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Oneliners - Education

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   If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

   I know Old MacDonald was a farmer but whoever taught him to spell farm as e-i-e-i-o?

   Spell checkers of the world untie!

   I heard that five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

   The Romans found algebra a piece of cake, x was always 10.

   Teacher to pupils, "If you get stuck with your exam revision, write your questions on the back of a twenty pound note and send them to me."

   Some minds are like concrete.....all mixed up and permanently set.

   Wise men talk because they have something to say....The foolish talk because they have to say something. (Plato)

   Lectures should be like a lady's dress - long enough to cover the subject, yet short enough to keep it interesting.

   When in doubt, tell the truth, it makes remembering a lot easier.

   If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what idiot came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

   How can you use a dictionary to look up a spelling? Surely if you don't know how to spell a word you won't be able to find it?

   Science student, "Why does it work?" Engineering student, "How does it work?" Accounting student, "How much does it cost?" Art student, "Do you want fries with that?"

   There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience.

   If someone who can't count finds a four leaf clover, will they still be lucky?

   An important point to remember is listen to what is not being said.

   Bet you can't think of another word for Thesaurus?

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