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Oneliners from the pen of the WebShowcase Puzzlemaster and our site Visitors - Page 11

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Oneliners - Religion

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   Why is it when we talk to God we're praying, but, if God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

   If there is meaning to life, why do we all have to die to figure it out?

   Did you know atheists are only entitled to half the holidays?

   We should all be pleased God doesn't change his mind as often as we do.

   Have you noticed how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals.

   The devils best trick was convincing the world he didn't exist.

   On the sixth day God created woman, then as a penance, he snuck back on the eighth day and created beer.

   It's not always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

   As the collection plate was coming up the aisle a young voice was heard to say, "Don't pay for me mummy, I'm under five."

   If Adam and Eve were the first people on earth....Do you ever wonder if they had belly buttons?

   Do sudden prayers make God jump?

   On an atheist's headstone: Here lies a non believer, all dressed up with nowhere to go.

   A prayer; Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people I didn't like anyway.

   When the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.

   Can priests turn other food into meat, or only those little biscuits?

   Did you know there were computers around in biblical times? Eve had an Apple.

   It is said, the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I bet the lamb doesn't get much sleep.

   I refused to believe in reincarnation in my past lives too.

   If money is the root of all evil, how come the church want so much of it?

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